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Submitted on
May 18
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Click play and listen to this music while reading along slowly for full effect.





In the aftermath of devastation
is this how I feel inside or my retaliation?

With a weapon in each hand
loaded with ready bullets
set aflame with my desire for freedom - I stand

With my eyes closed
I feel my demons closing I don’t need to see them
I can hear their breath
I can sense them near
they want my life
they want my death
this is as real as you and I
I do fear

As night falls…
I can’t help but smile and know
that they’re afraid of my fire and what I fight for
I’ll give them all I’ve got
I will not stop ‘till they are not

My inner calm cools my veins
as my heart prepares to release its rage

Using the darkness as my advantage
my eyes flash black…

…as the morning dawns I see the surrounding carnage
the darkness falls from my eyes
I retract my claws – I only turn at night time

I can hear a pin drop at 500 feet
the dead silence of a whisper repeat

Empty casings lay hollow all around
reflecting the lifeless forms of my adversaries that I’ve brought down
my hands are shaking and cold
my bare arms are breaking and willing to fold

I fall to my knees – I know this wasn’t me
‘cos this was the night my inner monster was released

Then a gentle hand is placed upon my shoulder
he says “it’s okay” “ come here you’re colder”
as he puts his warm jacket around me
a kind face is what I needed to see.

In the aftermath of devastation
they made me turn in retaliation!

This poem expresses my inner werewolf. 

The above picture does not belong to me although I have modified and edited it, please see the original here:GHOST IN THE SHELL by Eljay93

I was inspired to use the music: World Without End - Brand X Music

if you like the music please check out the journal here: 

Music Feature




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:icongenzelda:
Wow...I mean just...wow...I've never read a poem with such great vision to it~! :D I was thinking it was just about a girl (cuz the picture made me think of a girl) fighting in a war until I read the part "My inner calm cools my veins as my heart prepares to release its rage". I then realized that this wasn't about a girl fighting in a war. It's about a girl's "inner demon". I was beginning to thinking it was about a werewolf as I continued to read on and the "enemies" were people who were afraid of her and misunderstood her. And the part were the girl is saying "I know this wasn't me" gave me more reason to think it was about a werewolf. But what I loved the most about this poem was "Then a gentle hand is placed upon my shoulder, he says 'it's okay' 'come here you're colder'" because, well, its simple. it's romantic. :3 From what I could get from this that it was about a girl struggling with her werewolf side and not being able to control it.

I don't know if that's what you were trying to give a picture of but I know this beautiful piece of literature can give a different picture of what's going on to each reader and make it their own. I think every one of us has a "werewolf" within us and sometimes we become the "werewolf" when we least expect it. The wording is skillfully used in this piece and the way the story progresses, keeps you wondering is just wonderfully told~! Keep up the amazing work~! :D

(btw this is my first Critique I've ever written. =w=')
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:iconnightswarriors:
NightsWarriors Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow this is Awesome:D
Reply
:icondeadfish-silentarmy:
Deadfish-SilentArmy Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankyou so much, I'm glad you think so!
Reply
:iconnightswarriors:
NightsWarriors Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome:D  Really Is awesome!
Reply
:iconkingfishersilentarmy:
KingfisherSilentArmy Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is just so really good!
Reply
:icondeadfish-silentarmy:
Deadfish-SilentArmy Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are too kind sis! ;)
Reply
:iconkingfishersilentarmy:
KingfisherSilentArmy Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's true ;) :hug:
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
good job on this!
Reply
:icondeadfish-silentarmy:
Deadfish-SilentArmy Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thankyou kindly for taking time to read it.
Reply
:iconevilscarrlett:
EvilScarrlett Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconfleur-de-lis4444:
fleur-de-Lis4444 Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
i really like it..its sounds very strong
Reply
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